If you read my post about being broken hearted you’ll have an insight into how I felt, and I won’t lie, there are still sad, depressed, or heartbroken moments – whatever you wanna call it. And I’m human, it’s a daily choice not to stay there though. The image of the woman sitting in her robe, eating ice cream, with mascara running down her face – DON’T let that be you (for long) in a breakup.
Breakups are devastating, I’ve been there, I’ve watched my whole world fall apart in front of my eyes, and then watched them walk out the door. No matter what kind of break up you’ve been in they’re hard – one-sided, mutual, clean break, messy, long & dragged out, they are all traumatic. But! I’m alive, I didn’t die, the world went on, & you can too. Here’s how to get over a breakup:
Recognize that you have to grieve that person
I thought this was crazy, honestly. But it was so true – this person was dead. Yes, not literally. But in a sense. You’re going to cry, you’re going to be angry, you’re going to be in denial, you’re going to bargain with your head, and all of that is okay/normal. In a breakup, we’re not just losing the person, but we’re also losing our idea of the future we planned with that person, and maybe you’re losing their family, and you’ll probably lose a few mutual friends. Something that you have (or I had/have) to remind myself is that: you are worth it, you’re worth giving and receiving love, and you are enough.
Go through all the reasons why your life is better now
And yes, we all know there are reasons. You don’t have to deal with _____. You don’t have to be up all night with snoring, or their bad habits, or whatever it may be. You get to drive your life now, and there’s no one in the passenger seat to bring you down or take over the steering wheel. The most important aspect of this is that you need to go back to feeling not only good but confident, about yourself. He didn’t see the good in you, and that’s his loss. Welcome back, self.
Don’t go through every single detail of your relationship
Which can be so hard not to do especially if you didn’t want it to end or if you are confused as to why/how but you are only torturing yourself because focusing on the “what-if’s” doesn’t change this present moment. If someone is not willing to reciprocate our investment in them, we must take this as a blessing in disguise. And remember that we are not responsible for their actions/immature behavior.
No social media stalking
I was SO bad at this, and sure for the first few times I didn’t care, but then moments later – it would all hit me. Trust me, ignorance is 100% bliss. You won’t have to see that they’re out at a bar, out with someone new. Whatever it may be the case that they’re doing – CLOSE THE DOOR. And as hard as it is to come to terms, they don’t matter. What they do, doesn’t matter.
You have to make the choice to put one foot in front of the other
I focused on segments at a time, I couldn’t think about the future at all, because I’d go down a rabbit hole that I couldn’t get out of. My day was, wake up do my morning routine, get to work, do work, do my nightly routine. And do that every day. Nothing else.
Understand that it will come in waves
But let it happen. I literally thought I was bipolar, I was worried about myself. Because I would be totally fine, and the next moment, be hysterical. HYSTERICAL. But I think it’s because your brain is processing through every single thing and working through the harder times.
Rely on your support system
They were probably your support system before him, throughout this whole relationship, and they’ll be there through this. Most of us have all been through a hard breakup in our lives. We’re not alone in how we’re feeling and it’s important to work through it with people you love. **shout out to all my loves for answering my millions of sobbing calls at every hour of every day***
And most of all, don’t forget to breathe and always remember you will get through this.
~ XOXO, the stronger every day, Amanda